The Confidence Gap: Why Women Leaders Must Speak Up
There’s a well-documented phenomenon in leadership: women are often just as capable, sometimes more so, than their male peers, but far less confident. This isn’t a personality flaw. It’s a byproduct of systems, socialization, and silence.
As women leaders, we are often taught to be collaborative, not assertive. Helpful, not disruptive. Strategic, but not “too ambitious.” But here’s the truth: the cost of staying silent is too high. For your ideas. For your influence. For your future.
What Is the Confidence Gap?
The “confidence gap” refers to the tendency for women to underestimate their abilities while men tend to overestimate theirs, even when performance is equal. Studies show that women often won’t apply for jobs unless they meet 100% of the qualifications. Men? They go for it at 60%.
Confidence isn't just a feeling. It’s a career strategy.
Why Speaking Up Matters More Than Ever
Every time you speak up in a meeting, propose an idea, or advocate for a solution, you reinforce your presence. You’re not just contributing. You’re shaping how others perceive your leadership potential.
Here’s what speaking up can do:
Build credibility
Establish thought leadership
Create visibility with decision-makers
Inspire other women to do the same
And if you’re in a room where your voice feels unwelcome? That’s all the more reason it needs to be heard.
How to Close the Confidence Gap
You don’t need to wait until you “feel ready” to speak up. Start practicing before you feel fully confident. That’s how confidence is built—in action.
Here are 3 practical shifts to try:
1. Replace Perfection with Progress
Instead of obsessing over getting your point exactly right, aim to add value. Your insight doesn’t need to be flawless, it needs to be heard.
2. Use Power Language
Ditch qualifying phrases like “I just think…” or “Sorry, but…” and speak with intention.
Say: “Here’s what I recommend…” or “What I’m seeing is…”
3. Practice Speaking First
Challenge yourself to contribute early in meetings. It gets easier with repetition, and positions you as engaged and confident.
A Note to Women Leaders Reading This
You don’t have to become louder to be more powerful. You just have to stop holding yourself back. Because when you speak up, you give others permission to do the same. You shift the room. You change the story. That’s what leadership is really about.
Free Tool: Confidence Language Swap Sheet
This one-page printable helps you shift from hesitant language to bold, clear leadership language you can use in emails, meetings, and presentations.
Includes:
Common self-diminishing phrases to stop using
Confident language replacements
Bonus: 3 email templates for making bold requests professionally